Life is a confusing thing. You can become confused at any moment about anything. For example i am often confused in school. I don't understand the material or what we are supposed to be doing and that causes much confusion for me.
In 2nd grade, i was in Ms. Freshwaters class on the morning of 9/11. We arrived at school and in every room, there was a tv on showing the plane as it crashed into the twin towers. Teachers were astonished and some even crying but I and the rest of my class were confused about the entire thing and had no idea what had happened. Teachers throughout the day tried to explain to us what occured that day until weunderstood the negative impact it had on us. 2nd grade on 9/11 was a confusing day.
Great topic. I think you forgot spaces in "weunderstood", other than that don't see, to see any other spelling or grammar errors. Liked your word choice like "astonished". Overall good story could be alittle longer.
ReplyDeleteThat's true, life is confusing. I like your topic and quick transition to an example you had to when you were confused. I also have to agree with D Train (The Asian) that you had some good word choices and you also did have a bit of grammatical errors, like needing to capitalize "I." Also another thing you should have done is instead of saying, "but I and the rest of my class..." you should say, "the rest of the class and I..."
ReplyDeleteOverall it was a good story and had a good life example.
Haaaaaaaaa.
ReplyDeleteWell Devante. I found the last sentence of your story the best part, which must be really difficult for you to hear because I can tell you spent a lot of time on your little story here. Just about everything in this blog needs help. You need to use more instresting words and get a broader word choice within your story. I mean, simple words are good, and maybe thats your style but there would also be a lot of other things in need of work. Your grammar and misusage of small and big letters and fragments confused me probably more then you were confused on 9-11. Ha, just kidding. You gave a few details here and there. I kind of felt like I could have been in Ms. Freshwaters class with you yet not exactly. But seriously. I think this topic had a lot of potential but on your next blog I would like you to work on the simple things that I have been talking about and i'm sure it would greatly impact the overall thoughts on your essay! :D